Exactly a day after I was told that I was a beautiful person – a remark that made me wish I was. Not that I live a double-life to have provoked that, but… not that I don’t either. There is inevitably a contrast and a resulting cover-up but not to myself. On second thoughts, I do not think of it to be a concealment either, for it is but a parallel to innocent introversion except there’s a marked difference of clarity. In other words, it is not a retraction to shell but a pair of binoculars from my bedroom window with indefinite sight.
Her comment made me reconsider, to look ahead and think back from there. And this way, I founded ‘Joel the singing Frog’ and I found him to be a symbol, a key to inevitable happiness and emotional contention (at least from my present foresight) and I couldn’t let him go from there. He kind of stuck to me; kept ringing inside my head – singing inside my head.
No more a secret, it is a dream to grow kids with some healthy manure than chemicals and pesticides, even if that means they’d remain seedlings forever. I find myself willing to risk that consequence for the sake of progression that could emerge otherwise, and I hope I get someplace with this line of thought.
Wish me luck, whoever.
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